In Production: Documentary of Crimes Witnessed

I have to finish the video project. I know I'm only doing it for myself -- no one will help me or care about the victims.

I don't know what the consequences will be. The criminals could come after me and murder me -- again, no one will care.

I may even lose my job as a result of this and get evicted. It's too hard to finish this project if I'm homeless.

Technology keeps failing me.

The project evidence is as complete as it's going to get. All I have to do is put it together. Audio, Video, Photos, Emails and Transcripts are available.

Everyone will know the truth about the sex trafficking, kidnapping, rape and murders I witnessed.

Cops are complicit in these crimes and have assisted the criminals. City officals and departments have also gone along with criminal activity and are responsible for: the murder of Irma Huerta Lopez, the sexual assault of Celeste Guap, and complicit in the murder of Tatiana Sunshine Dugger.

The victims have not been found or identified (yet). I have more evidence awaiting lab results. It's taken too long. I'm not going to wait anymore.

The criminals can't hide.

#rape #kidnapping #crime #sextrafficking #murder #sanfrancisco #chinatown #oakland #montclair

Speaking Out: It Begins

I won't be silent anymore. I'm going to speak out about the crimes that happened. I won't let the criminals get away with this. I know who they are. I will speak out.

It's been a year

 The victims still haven't been found.

COVID-19 Pandemic Alienation and Violence Against Women

I can't explain just how alienating this pandemic has been for me.

I'm poor and I live in an SRO.

There's no house for me. There's no kitchen where I can bake bread, like all the housewives are doing now during the pandemic. There's no garden where I can plant my own food.

I have no car to drive with.

My friends are online sometimes and I rarely talk to them. They all live in houses. I do not.

It's even more alienating during a pandemic when you're witness to violence.

I had to call the police after hearing something very disturbing. A man was committing violence against a woman upstairs from me. But the police wouldn't believe me because I didn't “SEE” anything.

The man is moving out... but there's nothing else I can do. No one believes me about the woman.

I can't tell you how alienating this is for me.

Victims of violence are often gaslighted and so are witnesses.

I can't do much more.

People like me are the first to die, especially during a pandemic.

I've seen how the homeless are treated.

It's beyond frustrating. It fills me with rage.

All the normal people are complaining they can't bake their bread well enough. All the people safe in their houses complain about having to clean out the garage now during the pandemic. All the “work at home” techies complain about how slow Amazon is during the pandemic—with no regard to the unprotected workers. All the other people are hoarding toilet paper.

Meanwhile, I still have to deal with violence around me.

I can't socialize very well with people whose only priority is ordering dresses or knitting or baking bread...

I can't talk to people who've never witnessed or experienced violence.

It's a total disconnect.

I cannot connect with these strange people who seem to be another species from me.

I know people who lose their minds from this disconnect. Some people do drugs. Others drink. Some people kill themselves.

I don't know what I'll do yet.

But I do want to escape.

If I'm going to be trapped somewhere, it may as well be nice.

Where can I flee to?

There was housing discrimination before the virus. It's even worse when people don't have any income.

I'm still trapped in poverty. No matter how hard I work I can't get over poverty.

I'm trying to study more about PTSD and C-PTSD to understand my symptoms and why it's affecting me so strongly. I realized the underprivileged suffer more from trauma than privileged “Normal” people.

I don't have the luxury of baking bread during the pandemic.

Judith Herman (about self-/conscious raising), “It was okay to trust your own observations... even if nobody else seemed to think that what you saw made any sense.”

https://traumainform.wordpress.com/2012/07/07/judith-herman-and-the-formulation-of-c-ptsd/

It's too hard to recover in isolation.

I have feelings of guilt and shame. I believe the perpetrator of violence upstairs was taking revenge on me. He knows I can hear him. I don't know what happened to the woman or if he killed her. Cops won't do anything without proof. Even if I hear violence it's not enough to call cops.

I was listening to music and laughing and being myself. I was getting back in shape and watching videos online. I was fine.

And then this creep upstairs violated a woman. He's been doing this off an on, bringing women over on weekends... and I don't know what happens to them after.

Women have disappeared and their bodies dumped—cops won't do anything.

I can't heal in a place like this.

The guy upstairs is supposed to be leaving but the violence won't end.

I don't know how to make it end.

Trying to study more:

The Impact of Trauma on Adult Sexual Assault Victims 2019

Report Submitted to: Justice Canada

by Dr. Lori Haskell, C. Psych., Dr. Melanie Randall

https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/jr/trauma/trauma_eng.pdf

indicate that the reproduction is a copy of an official work that is published by

the Government of Canada and that the reproduction has not been produced in

affiliation with or with the endorsement of the Government of Canada.