I was a bit intimidated when I had to
drive behind Gasoline Alley to find it.
"What if I can't find the place?"
I had to make a quick left but I managed to find the shop after all.
I had seen Playtime 4 You advertised
over and over again on Bike Taxis in Chico, on the backs of Premiere
Taxis and in the CN&R.
Let me just make this clear, I don't
normally visit porn shops. I know about them, I've seen them
advertised and two of my friends used to run a back room before they
went out of business. When I was eighteen I went to the Underground
when it was still in Chico, just to see the back room.
The first thing I was expecting at this
porn shop was to see some big, grungy, old dude at the counter,
leering at me while I casually browsed the big selection of dildos
and vibrators. Instead of a disgusting old pervert, a nice lady was
at the counter and greeted me immediately when I came in. I was the
only person there, since it was just after noon and the whole store
was open for my casual browsing.
It all hit my senses and overwhelmed me
though, I have to admit. So many vibrators... Luckily on top of each
section was a clear, easy-to-read laminated description card where
you could see what kind of
vibrators there were, what exactly they
were used for and why you
should buy them. It was a very organized way of running a porno shop.
Slowly I looked
around taking my time and picked up a Japanese pink vibrator that
could fit in the palm of my hand. It showed some anime girl in a
sexually flirtatious pose and I could read a little of the katakana
script to show that they had other model colors, each with their own
special anime girl character.
Since most
vibrators are made in China, there's a joke that they're called 'folk
art' or novelty items, because such sexual items are taboo in that
country. It explains why most of the vibrators are in the shape of
dolphins and strange sea creatures. In some places because of this
taboo, I've heard you actually need a doctor's prescription before
you can get a sex-toy--with proof of heterosexual marriage, I think.
There was one
vibrator that was remote controlled but what got me laughing was that
you could put the tiny remote on your keychain. I wondered how far
the remote range was. Another tiny portable vibrator had a remote
control that looked like an iPod, just in case someone should suspect
that you're carrying a portable vibrator in your purse or pocket.
Blow-up dolls were
another popular item. Then I picked up a box with pictures of Justin
Bieber on it. It was a "JUST-iN BEAVER love doll"--I
couldn't believe it. I don't think you could even buy a thing like
that without getting on the radar of some Megan's list somewhere.
There were women blow-up dolls too. I really wasn't paying that much
attention to the women dolls since I was so distracted by the Bieber
Blow-Up Doll.
A Bachelorette
shelf was on display, featuring penis-shaped cake molds, straws,
party-favors etc. There were a few Bachelor items too, in case the
Bachelors wanted to throw a party. Which reminds me, I've never been
to a Bachelorette party... maybe it's time I made plans.
Items for the men
included: penis-rings, handcuffs, leather accessories, lube,
penis-enlargement items, etc. It's really too much for me to fathom
what all that stuff is for. I guess you have to be in a certain
sexual lifestyle to appreciate all those choices. I'm sure they have
a very important function--I just happen to be ignorant to all the
possibilities. I did happen to see a blow-job accessory, featuring a
teenage (and possibly underage) boy on the picture--which I find very
disturbing.
I'm not totally
ignorant about the type of people who frequent porn shops and I try
to avoid people like that. Most are few and far between but you never
know who you might come across. I casually asked the lady at the
counter if she'd ever thrown anyone out and she said, "No, not
yet." I then wondered if you could be thrown out for not buying
anything but I think she understood it was my first time there and I
was just looking.
In the back room
were lots of videos of women in every situation: Hardcore, Softcore,
Shaved, Asian, Black, and lots of other categories I didn't
understand and probably wouldn't watch. Along the shelf were special
props and pillows to get you in the right sexual postition. There
were also whips, rope tie, handcuffs, etc. for that BDSM stuff. I
really don't approve of this but I know some people are into it.
A short description
of BDSM: B&D is Bondage and Discipline, D&S is Dominance and
Submission, S&M is Sadomasochism (Sadism/Masochism), Sadism is to
enjoy inflicting pain, Masochism is to enjoy taking the pain--if you
like your pleasure with pain.
Since I mentioned
BDSM I may as well mention there were copies of "50 Shades of
Grey"--lots of them, on sale for 30%. The whole collection is
there for you to buy, bring home, get some ideas for some BDSM sex
and go back to the porn shop to buy all those fancy accoutrements for
that kind of sex you've now been introduced to. I think that was the
idea for it anyway... I forgot to ask the lady at the counter if that
plan for the porno shop worked. It would be a nice tie-in
(yes, pun intended).
For that stripper
(female or male) wanna-be out there, Playtime 4 You also has a
stripper pole you can install--you might need a stud finder though.
No, I'm serious. You don't want to hit those electric wires
while you're trying to install that sexy pole, otherwise you're gonna
get one hell of a shock. Speaking of shocks, there were some electric
do-dads with various voltage for those who want to push the limits on
their sexual pleasure (or pain).
I came back to the
front of the store and took a look at their special dildos made of
glass. Supposedly they're more hygienic since you can clean them more
easily (in the dishwasher perhaps?) and are free of those nasty
plastic ingredients. They are very pretty and could pass as
art, in case your parents go roaming about your bedroom. Yes, the
porn shop also carries other glass accessories for your
medical prescription needs. For women there are strap-on dildos too.
I didn't memorize
the entire selection but I'm guessing they have a lot. In case the
store doesn't have what you're looking for there are catalogues you
can order from. I mentioned how embarrassing it would be for me to
get a special package from PlayTime 4 You if I ordered by
mail. But the saleslady assured me they can have your package
delivered to the store for you to pick up.
Upstairs in the
shop, they have costumes for various role-play or just-for-fun
dress-up. With all the skimpy nurse and school girl outfits, I could
see how this store would be very popular in this college town during
Halloween. They even have stuff for guys to wear--cue wolf
whistle. For those not-so-adventurous types there is a wide
selection of tights, knee-highs, leg warmers and gloves. And of
course, brassieres, which are fun to wear anytime.
 |
| Rocky Horror anyone? |
And to answer your
question, yes, I did buy something at Playtime 4 You.
I bought an Erotic
Audio CD, "Better Sex Erotic Stories" Amatory Fiction,
Produced for Sinclair Institute (www.BetterSex.com). Judging from the
photos, I'm guessing you're supposed to be a white heterosexual
married couple before buying the CD. I couldn't help but notice the
big 'rock' the woman was wearing is the exact model porn stars wear
in their videos. I wonder if they're really married?
I listened to a
short track which was relatively stimulating but not very original. I
guess I'm just not into background music filled with gasping, sex
noises when I'm listening to a story read by a guy who sounds like
he's from a toothpaste commercial. Other tracks of stories had women
readers, sounding like they were from a porno film, because Gillian
Anderson would probably charge too much to read erotic stories. One
story was read by a guy with an Irish brogue--no, I kid you not.
Anne Hooper's
Pocket Sex Guide was a lot more interesting, featuring other white
(supposedly married) couples in various sexual poses. The photos and
drawings were informative but limiting. I was a bit disappointed they
didn't show more in the book but I recommend it as a good starter for
those just getting their feet wet in the sexual arena.
I got a nifty stamp
card from Playtime 4 You, so after five stamps I can get 25% off any
one item in the store. Playtime 4 You is the only porno shop in town
(Centerfolds is way too far for me), so it's very convenient. I will
definitely be back in the store to check out their other products and
post another review here, so feel free to check back soon!
Some other funny stuff...
 |
| Looks like a book but on the inside... |
 |
| *Ta-Da!* |
 |
| Do I need a prescription for this? |
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| Wish I had one of these back in the day... |
