Do you OM?

After hearing about something called an OM practice, I ended up watching a "How to OM" video about it and didn't know whether I should laugh out loud or just sit there and scratch my head in puzzlement...

First of all, the OM stands for Orgasmic Meditation (copyright by OneTaste) and according to their website:

"Orgasmic Meditation (OM) is a practice in which one partner gently strokes the other partner’s clitoris for 15 minutes."

The video I watched featured a man, Jacqui, and a woman, Elena, demonstrating how this is done--Yes, they actually show all of it.

In the video, the man keeps all his clothes on and the woman undresses to the point of exposing herself below the belt... her "pussy" (their word for vagina, not mine) is then bared and ready for the OM.

It's all very new-agey and almost spiritual-like, as they get ready for this act on their "nest" (a bed of blankets and pillows) and perform this Meditation until the final point, after 15 minutes, where the woman has an orgasm.

The goal is mainly for the woman to achieve orgasm and is not reciprocal, the man doesn't experience anything other than the "amazing golden light and electrical impulses going from her body to my finger and up through my chakras" (which I paraphrased to that extent).

In the "How to OM" video, the woman achieves orgasm and moans, so in effect it does seem to work! As for the explicit nature of the practice, the woman's "pussy" is blurred for the viewers but we get an actual animated and somewhat graphic picture showing how the man should move his finger and conduct this "light-filled" act.

I'm all for men pleasuring women to have orgasm and I'm glad someone out there is actually showing men how to do this.

Though it can be for any gender to perform the website OneTaste focuses primarily on the hetero couple with the end result of the woman having orgasm--so I don't know how this would work for two guys...

However, I must note how ridiculous this is too. For those old enough (and sober enough) to remember the love-filled '60's, this is a flashback to the days when you could go up to someone and say, "Hey, let's make love, not war!" except this time it's, "Hey, I think you're cute, do you want to OM with me?" And as the case with some of those love-filled workshops, they also charge you for the "secret knowledge of the OM"--as much as $250 for some conferences.

Apparently, someone has marketed this "Art of Loving a Woman" into a money-making scheme and I have to note that most people are in it just for sex--never mind the life-affirming light-filled joy you get when fingering a woman--everyone's in it for something else.

I don't ultimately approve of the copyrighted-OneTaste/OM-trademark-protected-"don't you dare steal this from us"-lawyer-guarded-stock-market-valued business...

Here's an example of why, from the OneTaste website:

The Orgasm Barometer

Get your Orgasm Quotient. Discover how to increase it. Live Powered by Orgasm.

Fill out the details and an Orgasm Expert will contact you within 24 hours to help you discover how to increase your Orgasm Quotient!

That's just bad marketing. Telling a woman how much and how many times she should have an orgasm is really none of their business--oh wait, it is now... that's too much.

The truth is you shouldn't have to pay in order to pleasure a woman or be pleasured. If you're comfortable enough with your own body and are comfortable sharing your body and your pleasure with another, all you need is mutual trust, attraction and space of comfort.

Though in this society, that's hard to come by because we are taught to hide our bodies, that our nakedness is shameful and that if we share our pleasure with another without the protection of marriage then we'll be punished in some form for our disobedience.

Plenty of people go on Craig's List to "hook-up", yet how many of them actually make any sort of connection? The goal shouldn't just be sex, pleasure, or orgasm, it should a treasured moment that you can take with you to make you more confident, secure and willing to share yourself without shame--simply for the mutual joy that you both shared together.

If I sound like an enlightened, hippie-sex-loving woman, that's only because I've had to learn this for myself by participating in arenas where I could express myself sensually and sexually without shame with other like-minded individuals.

But few people are as adventurous or self-affirming as I and so must enroll themselves into these cult-like sex conferences veiled in the "self-help" section of rich, and (primarily white) heterosexual society.

That being said, this OM program does have some steps and rules to follow, one of which is: CONSENT. Obviously you can't just go up to a woman and say, "Hey, can I finger... uh, I mean OM you?" Also, it's more than just fingering, according to the video you are supposed to form a bond and intimate connection with your partner before, during and after this act.

Although the goal is to make the woman have an orgasm, that's not your total endgame. After participating in her pleasure you're both supposed to talk about what you got out of it, what you were experiencing during it and probably cuddle afterwards if you want. You're supposed to: COMMUNICATE & CONNECT.

How far you want to take this sexual/spiritual act is up to you. One person quotes from the OneTaste website:

"I feel God in many more places by feeling God in an OM. I notice God when I watch someone reading a book on the bus. I notice God when I see a man playing with his young daughter. I notice God when I am alone and not lonely." 

--Kasia P.

Just think, if everyone participated in this OM practice, how many happy women in the world there would be!

As funny as the OM sounds, I'm glad that this prudish country is finally opening up to the fact that women do in fact feel sexual pleasure and that they have a right to enjoy it, even to invite it, without some horrible harm befalling them.

It's a start to recognizing that women's bodies deserve respect, worship, adoration, intimacy and love through an interesting exercise that teaches (primarily) men what a woman's body looks like, how to describe that lovely body, how to pleasure it and ultimately adore it.

Oh yeah, here's that OM link with all those funny quotes and the "How to OM" video (WARNING--EXPLICIT CONTENT):

http://onetaste.us

NiteFlirt Animation

NiteFlirt - an online phone-sex/web-cam company, shows a funny animated video about why you should use and pay for their services.

The animation starts off with several men in line waiting for the bus, they are of various ages, sizes and character types. A sexy, blonde, well-endowed woman bikes by in short shorts. Cue their various fantasies with the voice-over of a woman, "Everyone has erotic urges...". Pictures in thought-bubble shapes emerge with each of the men dressed up in their favorite erotic costume.

The woman voice goes on to say that the internet has "plenty of outlets" for such urges. However, it soon becomes clear that internet porn is only "one-dimensional" and "dull". The reason, after a hilarious Leonardo Da Vinci Vitruvian Man comparison, is that the dull internet experience, "Doesn't reach the most important organ of all--your brain!".

Next is an animation of a lonely man trying to latch himself up in handcuffs while looking at a porno mag. No, you really can't ask the porno mag to tie you up, what a shame!

But here's the kicker, as the female voice sagely advises, "In the real world, exploring your urges can be dangerous..." How? Here we see a doctor looking at a guy's junk and shaking his head, while the guy bursts out in tears. Oh dear, I wonder what happened to that guy?

Exploring urges is also, "expensive and frustrating" as we see a silhouette of a man presenting flowers to a woman who slams the door in his face. Gee, don't all women like flowers? Exploring your urges in the real world can also be, "inappropriate", as shown in the animation of a woman angrily presenting her husband with someone else's lipstick stain on his handkerchief or boxers (I couldn't tell which).

As the woman tells the men watching this animation, if they've stuck around long enough, it's "not always easy to explore hidden fantasies"--cue animation of man arriving in woman's boudoir in bunny costume, woman then turns back on him in fear.

And here it is at last, ladies (but mostly gentlemen), "That's where NiteFlirt comes in!". They are the number one provider, etc. etc. of real people, whom you can talk to, who won't be afraid to explore your nasty, abnormal desires with you. All anonymous and secure! So you don't have to worry about having a scary real-world relationship. Just spend your time (and lots of money) on strange women you've never seen in real life. "Guaranteed to Blow Your Mind!" The animation shows a brain exploding thus forth.

I understand the need to advertise and promote phone-sex with this great animation but come on, folks, let's get serious. Do you think they're being completely honest about what goes on in the real world? Is it really that difficult to find a kindred kinky spirit? Unless you're stuck in the boonies of Nebraska, you can find some people who are willing to interact with you via the internet, dating/hook-up sites, etc.

Unfortunately, the only people this ad caters to, are the shut-ins who don't desire any real contact at all. That's fine, I get the point of total anonymous contact (especially if one is married). But I do find the narrow-minded examples and unrealistic expectations, hard to swallow (if you'll excuse the pun). 

First of all, this site only caters to men. It's clear from the start, it's for MEN ONLY! Women are just there to provide the pleasure... according to the hilarious but unrealistic animation, women are afraid of sex and will do anything to avoid it. However, I wouldn't mind my guy in bunny costume!

The funny point is, most sex (even the kinky kind) can be had with good communication. 

Funnier point here is that these shut-ins are expected to 'communicate' their desires with strange women over the phone when they can't even present themselves to real women in real life. 

How the heck are these guys going to get off? "Oh gee, I don't know what I like... you tell me. I just called to, you know, get off." 

Such stimulating conversation indeed...

And such a waste of money! If men realize that size doesn't matter, to just be yourselves and have confidence and communicate, men wouldn't need to go through the endless trouble of porno/phone-sex sites. You could meet someone who likes the same kinky, crazy stuff you do and be comfortable with it.

But then again, if this happened NiteFlirt wouldn't be in business...

Oh well.

Playtime 4 You *Mature Content*

I was a bit intimidated when I had to drive behind Gasoline Alley to find it.

"What if I can't find the place?" I had to make a quick left but I managed to find the shop after all.

I had seen Playtime 4 You advertised over and over again on Bike Taxis in Chico, on the backs of Premiere Taxis and in the CN&R.

Let me just make this clear, I don't normally visit porn shops. I know about them, I've seen them advertised and two of my friends used to run a back room before they went out of business. When I was eighteen I went to the Underground when it was still in Chico, just to see the back room.

The first thing I was expecting at this porn shop was to see some big, grungy, old dude at the counter, leering at me while I casually browsed the big selection of dildos and vibrators. Instead of a disgusting old pervert, a nice lady was at the counter and greeted me immediately when I came in. I was the only person there, since it was just after noon and the whole store was open for my casual browsing.

It all hit my senses and overwhelmed me though, I have to admit. So many vibrators... Luckily on top of each section was a clear, easy-to-read laminated description card where you could see what kind of vibrators there were, what exactly they were used for and why you should buy them. It was a very organized way of running a porno shop.

Slowly I looked around taking my time and picked up a Japanese pink vibrator that could fit in the palm of my hand. It showed some anime girl in a sexually flirtatious pose and I could read a little of the katakana script to show that they had other model colors, each with their own special anime girl character.

Since most vibrators are made in China, there's a joke that they're called 'folk art' or novelty items, because such sexual items are taboo in that country. It explains why most of the vibrators are in the shape of dolphins and strange sea creatures. In some places because of this taboo, I've heard you actually need a doctor's prescription before you can get a sex-toy--with proof of heterosexual marriage, I think.

There was one vibrator that was remote controlled but what got me laughing was that you could put the tiny remote on your keychain. I wondered how far the remote range was. Another tiny portable vibrator had a remote control that looked like an iPod, just in case someone should suspect that you're carrying a portable vibrator in your purse or pocket.

Blow-up dolls were another popular item. Then I picked up a box with pictures of Justin Bieber on it. It was a "JUST-iN BEAVER love doll"--I couldn't believe it. I don't think you could even buy a thing like that without getting on the radar of some Megan's list somewhere. There were women blow-up dolls too. I really wasn't paying that much attention to the women dolls since I was so distracted by the Bieber Blow-Up Doll.

A Bachelorette shelf was on display, featuring penis-shaped cake molds, straws, party-favors etc. There were a few Bachelor items too, in case the Bachelors wanted to throw a party. Which reminds me, I've never been to a Bachelorette party... maybe it's time I made plans.

Items for the men included: penis-rings, handcuffs, leather accessories, lube, penis-enlargement items, etc. It's really too much for me to fathom what all that stuff is for. I guess you have to be in a certain sexual lifestyle to appreciate all those choices. I'm sure they have a very important function--I just happen to be ignorant to all the possibilities. I did happen to see a blow-job accessory, featuring a teenage (and possibly underage) boy on the picture--which I find very disturbing.

I'm not totally ignorant about the type of people who frequent porn shops and I try to avoid people like that. Most are few and far between but you never know who you might come across. I casually asked the lady at the counter if she'd ever thrown anyone out and she said, "No, not yet." I then wondered if you could be thrown out for not buying anything but I think she understood it was my first time there and I was just looking.

In the back room were lots of videos of women in every situation: Hardcore, Softcore, Shaved, Asian, Black, and lots of other categories I didn't understand and probably wouldn't watch. Along the shelf were special props and pillows to get you in the right sexual postition. There were also whips, rope tie, handcuffs, etc. for that BDSM stuff. I really don't approve of this but I know some people are into it.

A short description of BDSM: B&D is Bondage and Discipline, D&S is Dominance and Submission, S&M is Sadomasochism (Sadism/Masochism), Sadism is to enjoy inflicting pain, Masochism is to enjoy taking the pain--if you like your pleasure with pain.

Since I mentioned BDSM I may as well mention there were copies of "50 Shades of Grey"--lots of them, on sale for 30%. The whole collection is there for you to buy, bring home, get some ideas for some BDSM sex and go back to the porn shop to buy all those fancy accoutrements for that kind of sex you've now been introduced to. I think that was the idea for it anyway... I forgot to ask the lady at the counter if that plan for the porno shop worked. It would be a nice tie-in (yes, pun intended).

For that stripper (female or male) wanna-be out there, Playtime 4 You also has a stripper pole you can install--you might need a stud finder though. No, I'm serious. You don't want to hit those electric wires while you're trying to install that sexy pole, otherwise you're gonna get one hell of a shock. Speaking of shocks, there were some electric do-dads with various voltage for those who want to push the limits on their sexual pleasure (or pain).

I came back to the front of the store and took a look at their special dildos made of glass. Supposedly they're more hygienic since you can clean them more easily (in the dishwasher perhaps?) and are free of those nasty plastic ingredients. They are very pretty and could pass as art, in case your parents go roaming about your bedroom. Yes, the porn shop also carries other glass accessories for your medical prescription needs. For women there are strap-on dildos too.

I didn't memorize the entire selection but I'm guessing they have a lot. In case the store doesn't have what you're looking for there are catalogues you can order from. I mentioned how embarrassing it would be for me to get a special package from PlayTime 4 You if I ordered by mail. But the saleslady assured me they can have your package delivered to the store for you to pick up.

Upstairs in the shop, they have costumes for various role-play or just-for-fun dress-up. With all the skimpy nurse and school girl outfits, I could see how this store would be very popular in this college town during Halloween. They even have stuff for guys to wear--cue wolf whistle. For those not-so-adventurous types there is a wide selection of tights, knee-highs, leg warmers and gloves. And of course, brassieres, which are fun to wear anytime.

Rocky Horror anyone?

And to answer your question, yes, I did buy something at Playtime 4 You.

I bought an Erotic Audio CD, "Better Sex Erotic Stories" Amatory Fiction, Produced for Sinclair Institute (www.BetterSex.com). Judging from the photos, I'm guessing you're supposed to be a white heterosexual married couple before buying the CD. I couldn't help but notice the big 'rock' the woman was wearing is the exact model porn stars wear in their videos. I wonder if they're really married?

I listened to a short track which was relatively stimulating but not very original. I guess I'm just not into background music filled with gasping, sex noises when I'm listening to a story read by a guy who sounds like he's from a toothpaste commercial. Other tracks of stories had women readers, sounding like they were from a porno film, because Gillian Anderson would probably charge too much to read erotic stories. One story was read by a guy with an Irish brogue--no, I kid you not.

Anne Hooper's Pocket Sex Guide was a lot more interesting, featuring other white (supposedly married) couples in various sexual poses. The photos and drawings were informative but limiting. I was a bit disappointed they didn't show more in the book but I recommend it as a good starter for those just getting their feet wet in the sexual arena.

I got a nifty stamp card from Playtime 4 You, so after five stamps I can get 25% off any one item in the store. Playtime 4 You is the only porno shop in town (Centerfolds is way too far for me), so it's very convenient. I will definitely be back in the store to check out their other products and post another review here, so feel free to check back soon!

Some other funny stuff...

Looks like a book but on the inside...

*Ta-Da!*

Do I need a prescription for this?

Wish I had one of these back in the day...