Life is for the Birds

Instead of writing about myself today I'm going to write about birds, pigeons to be exact.

A Flock of Pigeons, Chinatown Plaza. Photo by Emerald A. Behrens 2015

There are a great number of pigeons in the city and many more in Chinatown, especially in the plaza. People sometimes feed them and I envy the bread birds get to eat (I have Celiac, so no bread for me). I also see bird seed scattered about, even though there are signs (in Chinese too) not to feed the birds.

Once in a great while I'll get a pigeon on my windowsill but I quickly scare them off because they poop everywhere and there are bird mites that come in that I have to kill. 

 

I'm not a great fan of pigeons, though I think they may be distantly related to mourning doves. The pigeons are loud as they flap their wings and coo early in the morning hours and are always roosting up top in their poop covered nests. I'm afraid I'll get pooped on, which is inevitable. 

 

It's a remarkable feat just to walk down the alleyway and not scare the fifty pigeons congregated there, or else it'll be a flurry of wings and flapping coming right toward my face.

Pigeons are also very dirty and since there hasn't been any rain or water, they have no place to bathe, so nearly all the pigeons look very grimy and oil-stained. 

 

Due to the drought, one pigeon I noticed in Japantown was so desperate for water, it was sticking its head into a hose opening and for a moment I thought it was stuck. Other pigeons are forced to drink from filthy puddles left over from people washing the sidewalks with soap and other harmful chemicals. 

 

I wonder how some pigeons can look clean enough to find a mate. Some of the pigeons I've seen are missing toes, which makes me wonder why. A couple of pigeons I saw had one leg merely a stump and could only limp to walk. I wonder that if the pigeons can't bathe, they are getting some debilitating foot/toe fungus. I also wonder about the chemicals they are exposed to that we humans are using.

With such dire conditions it's a wonder that the pigeons can mate at all and yet I see some, fighting against all odds, to mate and have their young.

Male pigeons, some filthy and some clean, pursue the females as they fan out their back tail feathers and puff out their necks. They circle the female, some more aggressively than others, and wait for a response. Usually, as far as I've seen, the females ignore them. They are either not interested or are taken by another male. As far as I know, females and male pigeons are monogamous and mate for life. I saw one male pigeon pursue a female until she flew up into a nest, where another male was roosting (presumably her mate), thus ultimately rejecting the male who went in search of another female.

The Lone Bird. Photo by Emerald A. Behrens 2015

I've only seen a couple of cases where the male and female pigeon get along. They do a courtship ritual where they follow each other, do a big of neck-grooming-nuzzling up and down then circle one another until the female sinks down and allows the male to mount her. Without this ritual, I don't think mating can occur, the male can't force the female to mate. It doesn't last very long though (I didn't time it) and the female flies off, leaving the male behind unless he follows her. I have no clue what happens after.

I assume there are various conditions that may affect how the female accepts the male, cleanliness being one of them. Pigeons have a natural sheen on their necks that is purple-green in color. If they are too dirty, this part becomes grimy. I haven't seen a male pigeon with a grimy neck performing a mating/pursuing ritual with females, it's likely the female would refuse him. 

So maybe the males know this? So they must have a sense of "cleanliness"? Birds are always grooming themselves to keep their feathers clean from dirt and mites. That being said, pigeons build their nests with poop I assume since their nests are covered in it, so they can't be that clean.

How does a female know that she should mate with a male? What factors tell her that he possesses the desirable traits of a life-long mate? Males must find food for the female while she sits on the eggs, so the female must guess if the male can provide for her based on his ability to find food, which means the male must not be scrawny but must be robust and healthy in appearance. 

 

Pigeons are extremely competitive for food. They will fight each other for it and prevent others from getting food. In a group they push together, crowing out those who can't get in. Although, from my observation, it makes those outcasts much more bolder and tolerant of humans in order to get their food. Pigeons as a group frighten easily but the solitary pigeon can weigh the risks more reasonably and not startle so easily. It is possible for the solitary pigeon to survive though it is hard to say what their chances for mating are.

Surviving in these unnatural elements requires the pigeons to be adaptable, so much so that they defy their own nature. It is not normal for pigeons to live with humans but they will tolerate a human enough for them to approach with food, even after being scared by children running after them time and time again.

Pigeons roost in the domain of humans: in buildings, on bridges, ledges and beams.

In the city there are few natural predators. Hawks are few and far between as they need large trees in order to roost and nest. I haven't noticed many feral cats in the city (a blessing!), or loose dogs. The biggest threat to pigeons is their environment: overcrowding, no water or food and disease. There are also power lines, cars, BART electric tracks and the odd window or two, that they break their necks on. I've seen a couple of dead pigeons with no sign of attack. Disease, environmental pollution of chemicals and ruined food, i.e. cigarette butts, garbage, and poison, are common threats. 

 

Yet, even in this harmful and unnatural environment, pigeons continue to live and are motivated enough to still find food, shelter and a mate. Even the rare, good-natured human shows them kindness (usually a homeless person) and for a short moment the different species co-exist against all odds, peacefully.

Though considered a nuisance to some (along with rats, cockroaches and bats), pigeons continue to exist alongside humans through their bird-brained knowledge, single-minded determination and lots of luck. They don't seem to suffer any trauma (unless they've forgotten it) and are remarkable lenient. 

 

I can't say that I would enjoy the life of a pigeon much, as I don't think they have great living conditions or live very long. But I do think I could learn a lot from them, especially how to survive in the city, in a bad environment with lots of overcrowding, without losing my mind.

* * *

Emerald Behrens, currently resides in San Francisco, where she writes about social injustice, homelessness and human frailty in general. She is a freelance writer, poet and author of "My Private Collection". She may be contacted at: emerarudo83 (at) gmail (dot) com.

Contents of blog and article subject to copyright. Not for use or copy without author's permission.

Bank of America Fails Again... How Big Banks Are Losing Touch With Their Customers

Inside Bank of America in Chinatown is an ad for "low car loan rates", the bank has a stand-up, interactive cardboard sign where customers can guess "What Kind of Car Are You?". According to StreetsBlogSF, Chinatown "has the city's lowest rate of car ownership". Too bad Bank of America didn't get the memo.

With only one teller helping over five customers in line, many of whom opt out of the Snap With Your App Check Deposit, frustration with the bank and its ignorance of customer service was high.

As I was standing, waiting to pay off my credit card and get some quarters for laundry, an older man gave a great big sigh behind me.

One bank woman got another woman from in back of the bank to help an elderly gentleman who had some sort of bank problem. Since they were talking in Chinese, I had no idea what the problem was but they were standing there for a good ten minutes or more.

An older woman who came into the bank, spoke in Chinese with the younger man at Bank of America who was greeting everyone at the door. I'm sure she was complaining about the long wait times in line. It turns out, this is an everyday occurrence and at this location (Grant Avenue), it wasn't much of an improvement from the other Bank of America branch just down the street (Stockton Street).

The median age for those living in Chinatown is 52-years-old (Realtor.com). Many of the people here do in-person banking and don't use their phones for banking deposits, online banking or appointments. Bank of America, instead of compensating for this particular demographic at its branches, is instead opting to exclude them.

The result? More frustrated elderly customers who will take their money elsewhere, to the many convenient Chinese banks in Chinatown.

Greeters at the banks encourage customers to use the ATM's to do their banking for deposits, instead of in-person with a teller.

I was told while I was waiting in line that I could deposit my money into an ATM.

"What happens if the ATM shreds my money and checks?" I asked. I had heard of this happening with other people at other locations.

"Oh, that won't happen." The Chinese bank woman assured me but instead I remained in line until five minutes later, I was still waiting in line for a deposit. I ended up leaving and making my deposit into Mechanics Bank instead.

Where Else Can You Go?

Credit Unions are another popular alternative. With the Huffington Post "Move Your Money" Campaign, many Americans moved their money from big conglomerate banks to local credit unions. I'm looking to do the same with SF Fire Credit Union, as they offer similar benefits like Bank of America without all the hassle. They even have a coin deposit machine with Coinstar, where customers get a receipt for deposit instead of dealing with paper rolls and penning in account numbers.

Credit Card Hassle

Suffering from credit card theft or having your credit card information stolen is bad enough but when banks (and employers) use this against you, that's just hitting below the belt. Did you know you have to state who your employer is on your credit card? They always check to make sure you're employed.

When I last checked my credit card information (due to a recent information theft), I was shocked to find BofA still had my old employer on my credit card... from 2010! They had never bothered to update this, even after I went in to tell them I moved, changed employers, student status, etc. There's not much communication between BofA and any of its products.

Have you been offered one of those super-high-interest-rates card with extra points and bonus offers? According to Bank of America's Terms and Conditions of BankAmericard Cash Rewards, you could be paying more APR, "Up to 29.99%, based on your creditworthiness.". Also, if you don't spend a lot of money, you may not get all the benefits. "You will earn base cash rewards of 1% for Net Purchases in excess of $1,500 in each quarter in the Bonus Categories." Forget trying to use your card at discount places, since BofA doesn't want poor people using this card. "... please note superstores, discount stores and warehouse clubs are not included in this list".

Doesn't really encourage you to get their credit card, does it? So basically, the card only rewards rich people who spend a bunch of money at high-end stores and gas-guzzling hummers (are people still driving those?).

Privacy Invasion

Mysterious phone calls are also a part of being a BofA customer, though how they get your phone number from the "Do-Not-Call-List" is another mystery. Even if you Opt-out of those offers Bank of America has, their subsidiaries and other companies can contact you--no matter what.

Bank of America Corporation website (https://www.bankofamerica.com/privacy/faq/privacy-choices-faq.go), Your Privacy Choices FAQ's, states:

• What is the five-year opt out language?

When you opt out of direct marketing by mail or telephone, your opt out(s) will last for five years, subject to applicable law. After that, you can choose to renew your opt out(s) for another five-year period.

• Does this five-year expiration apply also to opt outs from third party or affiliate sharing?
  

No, this applies only to the direct marketing opt out for mail or phone contacts.

On those pieces of paper they sometimes mail to you, your choices to Opt-out are limited and BofA still shares your information to others: credit bureaus, businesses, corporations, etc. They share your employment information, your social security number, your living address(es), past rental history, overdue bills and all the things you once thought were private. 

Bank of America Corporation, Set your Privacy Choices, states again:

The types of personal information we collect and share depend on the product or service you have with us.

This information can include:

• Social Security number and employment information

• account balances, transaction history and credit information

• assets and investment experience

Time For Change

If you see this happening at your bank, it's a sign of the times. Due to the 2008 financial crisis and loan fraud fiasco, many people are now skeptical of doing business with banks.

People lost their homes while big bank CEO's and financial advisors got billions of dollars in profits--and they're still getting them. After the bank bailout, courtesy of the U.S.A. government, banks are doing everything they can to keep their profits and as a result, customers are suffering.

Staff cuts, over-reliance on technology and the Online/App crap phase has hit its way into everyday transactions and has made both customers and bank workers very unhappy.

More and more, people are going without paper money or checks. You can even pay rent with a credit card now, though you may have to up your limit to several thousand for San Francisco's rent. RadPad boasts that customers can pay with a credit or debit card and RadPad will mail a paper check to the landlord. It also accepts Apple Pay.

Mobile phones are now used in place of check deposits, direct deposits, cash deposits and coin deposits. That's great for the techies but what if you don't use mobile phones for your banking due to: fraud, hacking, old phones, etc. What if something goes wrong with your phone? Do you really want to keep all that information in some information cloud?

Keeping diverse accounts in multiple banks may be a good idea, except when banks get bought over.

I was once with World Savings Bank, which offered great service, great interest rates and great perks. Then World Savings Bank became Wachovia, which then became Wells Fargo, which made me a very unhappy customer. I then moved my account to a local credit union.

How To Make Change

So, in short, there's not much you can do about Bank of America, Wells Fargo or any of its conglomerates who still hold America and its customers by a financial stranglehold. Many people are stuck with them for home, car and student loans. Some have family accounts that if broken may suffer penalties as a result.

What can you do? Make change! Remember all those tedious paper rolls I was talking about earlier? Use those for your pennies and deposit those into the bank instead of money, checks or direct deposit (assuming you have your main accounts at credit unions). Just keep that one BofA account going, for whatever trap they had put you in, and do the "My Two Cents" deposit until they add up.

Here's what I imagine would happen...

Lines of people around the block (this would be an organized protest on big banks), waiting to deposit their coins. "My Two Cents" would show banks that people want in-person service, respect for all their money and to make banks realize that other people, not just the billionaires, do business with them.

Even if the banks get a coin machine, there would only be one (due to banks' penny-pinching habits) and people would still have to line up to make their deposits.

Assuming people have time to do this (which the unemployed do), this can be done.

Just do the underpaid and overworked bank tellers a favor: put the account numbers on the coin rolls and fill out the deposit sheet properly. Oh, and don't wait for payday, better make it Tuesday instead.

* * *

Emerald Behrens, currently resides in San Francisco, where she writes about social injustice, homelessness and human frailty in general. She is a freelance writer, poet and author of "My Private Collection". She may be contacted at: emerarudo83 (at) gmail (dot) com.

Contents of blog and article subject to copyright. Not for use or copy without author's permission.

Goodwill to all...

       Miriam-Webster Dictionary

Full Definition of GOODWILL

1

a :  a kindly feeling of approval and support :  benevolent interest or concern

b (1) :  the favor or advantage that a business has acquired especially through its brands and its good reputation (2) :  the value of projected earnings increases of a business especially as part of its purchase price (3) :  the excess of the purchase price of a company over its book value which represents the value of goodwill as an intangible asset for accounting purposes

2

a :  cheerful consent

b :  willing effort

 

"Orientation" 

I went to Goodwill today for an orientation that would allow me to use their facilities to look for a job. I figured since I couldn't find a job on my own, and since I have zero income, they could help me out. Alas, I was five minutes late and then was told they don't have orientation on Fridays because they close early.

More and more I realize our government is shutting down on Fridays and now so are non-profit agencies. 

I signed in, thanked the young woman and left.

"As Is"

Right next door to the huge building of Bank of America (Market St. & 11th) is the Goodwill Industries "As Is" store and warehouse sorting facility, where you can buy boxes of pre-sorted "as is" items in bulk. 

As I perused a box outside a man told me, "That's my stuff." 

Oops! I stepped back, taking in the 4-5 boxes, all my height and three feet wide, stuffed with an assortment of housewares, luggage, pictures and useful-for-other-purposes-bric-a-brac.   

I saw a woman taking out a bundle of hangers and wondered if the guy had a store of his own.

"You can buy your own boxes inside." He informed me. 

"Wow! Thanks!" I replied, though I could never buy in bulk as he was doing or have a place to put it all. I thought of my own stuff I was paying for in my three storage sheds. 

I went inside the warehouse and was stunned at the amount of stuff inside. It seemed as if over a hundred boxes (my size height) were around, along with mile-long tables of clothing which were sold by the pound. 

The man at the front desk register informed me there were items like Italian brand shoes, etc. 

"All good stuff!" He assured me. 

I nodded, still awestruck at the sight. 

I meekly poked around, mainly at oil painted pictures before two men came around to tell me that the boxes were for "wholesale only". I guess other people pick through the boxes and rearrange items all the time. 

The sheer number and mountain of boxes, shoes, clothing and housewares astounded me. To my disappointment, I saw a lot of oil, pastel, acrylic handmade pictures that had been thrown out, a.k.a. "donated". 

"That's where my oil paintings are going." I thought ruefully.

"Not-so-good Goods"

I also saw a number of awesome movies on VHS, "Edward Scissor Hands", "Hunchback of Notre Dame" and other Disney films that looked like the ones I had given away previously. 

Clothes, purses and shoes were the most disposable and took up over a quarter (if not half) the warehouse. I guess fashion in this country is very disposable. 

I couldn't imagine anyone wanting dirty purses, or old, scuffed-up shoes to wear. Clothes have to be washed (or dry cleaned) which is a pain. 

There was a lot of electronics being disposed of: microwaves, TV's (made obsolete by the government and corporate mandated digital cable), blenders, foot baths, vacuums, lamps, tons of computer e-waste. 

I wondered what you'd do with it all. Perhaps they could be stripped down for copper wire scrap and metal parts. But that would require extra labor... so much waste!

Also, I saw childhood toys thrown out, as childhood is so temporary, we spend a lot on toys that later become worthless.

"Sorting out the rubbish"

Working in a place like this must put consumerism in perspective. I know I'd buy a lot less "disposable" goods if I worked at Goodwill... or maybe not. It could turn you into a hoarder, I suppose, since you have easy access to all the goods. 

There were a lot of office and school supplies that if sorted correctly, could be of use to non-profits and schools. But there's so much red-tape involved and the boxes were meant to be sold "as is". So likely, it would be thrown in the trash later. 

I wonder if they have to sort things twice, if people dispose of the "as is" they don't want? 

Then I came upon the sight of the sorting facility where again, another man warded me off. "That's our sorting facility--off limits. Please stay behind the yellow line." 

"Yes, I see it." I said, obviously. Did he expect me to just run out and wildly start grabbing clothes off the rolling conveyor belt? Maybe other people had done that...

As I watched, I was amazed and then depressed.

Men on forklifts brought metal crates of clothes around to be dumped into a sorting area where women with masks and gloves on went through them and dropped them onto a conveyor belt to be further sorted by other women in various boxes. 

On the other side, people took clothes from the boxes and hung them up on hangers into respective areas: cashmere, vintage, tops, etc. I didn't see them cleaning the clothes but I guessed that would be done after--maybe by a giant dry cleaning hose of some sort. 

There was very little interaction between the workers. Most of the women sorters were: Asian, Hispanic/Latino and Black. I saw no White women sorting. 

In the hanger rack area, other women were working. Only two were men (White), one of whom was a man much older than retirement age. I know how little social security pays in this country--not enough to live on, and with employment and age discrimination at an all time high, it may have been the only job available for him. 

No one spoke to each other. No one wore earbuds or listened to music, there was no music to break the monotony and it was quite loud in the sorting warehouse. A clock was stationed in center to keep track of the time: 10:30 a.m.. 

All the workers were working at a very fast pace, standing on their feet and doing repetitive movement for hours at a time. Not all the women wore masks or gloves (I'm guessing those item cost extra). 

"Refuse"

I thought of the sort of work I'd be doing, if I had to work in the warehouse. Most likely, it would be the only job offered to me, even though I have retail experience, etc. 

How boring it would be! What reward on the job could I look forward to? No interaction at all with any employees. Did they talk over lunch? Were they given lunch at all? Or perhaps their shift ended by then (as is often the case when employed only 20 hours a week or less). 

It would not be a job that has a lot of respect. If I were to apply to another job and an employer sees "Goodwill warehouse worker" on my résumé, what impression does that make? Not a good one. 

"Oh you're not a team player!" They would say, nothing that there's no interaction between the workers. 

"What do you do at your job?" They would also ask.

What do you say then? Even working at Goodwill (known for training the down-and-out) looks bad to employers. You'll never get a job at Macy's that way.

The upward-bound jobs Goodwill does provide are only open to: 18-22 year-olds, as I found out when I applied to a job with Levi-Strauss, who said that at 31-years-old, I was "too old" for the position. 

I guess Goodwill is good for those who really do need a hand up, those who never got the chance they deserved due to socioeconomic restrictions based on: race, location of birth, poverty, current living situation and schools available. 

But for those who've had opportunities available but were denied any chance of advancement, working at Goodwill may be quite a fall from teh employment ladder.

It's a lot harder to climb up toward the top when covered in mud. Your feet keep slipping on the rungs and your grip isn't as strong when covered in the blisters of mistreatment and constant disappointment. It's especially hard to reach the top when the employment ladder keeps shaking on the unstable, muddy, ground. And when society takes its foot and kicks your ladder off from its point, you can't help but fall down, into the filthy muck below. Try climbing your way up from that. How many times can you stand it?

Goodwill makes jobs out of people's waste. It's a shame that with all this country's wealth, we throw away so much without a second thought. 

Our society has thrown its greatest asset and resource away: our human potential. No amount of goodwill can ever make it right.

What "Opportunity"?

I don't know what President Obama means by having more job "opportunities" for people. Obviously, he (or any other American President) never had to clean dirty toilets for a living. 

Telling people there are plenty of job opportunities cleaning toilets isn't very encouraging. Yes, there are plenty of low-paying, undesirable jobs available--that doesn't solve the problem though.

I was offered to submit my résumé for the grand job of Housekeeping, after I applied to a hotel position with Marriott (and those other affiliates: Ritz-Carlton, etc.). I was applying for Front Desk, Guest Associate position--but apparently, I'm not qualified (I don't "have friends or family working at Marriott", so my answer to this job application question is: NO). I don't even qualify for bellman position.

Colleges aren't improving the situation either. The only jobs available at my "welfare" community college, a.k.a. City College of San Francisco, is: valet/driver (Luxe, Über, etc.), housecleaning, janitor and the ever-popular-among-the-poor, dishwasher position. These were listed at the main campus.

Did you want to see what's offered in Chinatown? No, not Accounting, Computer Science, Engineering, Teaching positions or anything like that. Bar tending, janitor, food service and personal care attendant positions. 

These are the fields that students are encouraged to enter. They are one of the lowest paid positions in the country, other than: farming, fishing, and forestry.

Also, there were sewing classes, you know, since Chinese people deal with laundry so much... all they can do is sew, serve liquor at their bars, massage feet and if they're lucky maybe work at a hotel in Housekeeping. Hey! That was the job I was offered to submit my résumé to... oh but wait, I don't speak Cantonese, Mandarin, Vietnamese, Filipino, Lao, Thai, Burmese, Khmer, Hindi, Punjabi, Bengali, or Spanish... never mind. 

Notice also that your employment depends on your "expectations" for the job...

 
"attitude toward work"... "expectation on wage and job location" and "specific requirements of employers".

So if you want to be treated with respect, have a living wage while living in the city... no job for you then?

You've gotta be kidding me! These are extremely low requirements and assumes the people who apply for these jobs are ignorant, lazy, fools who just want to gamble all day and lie about. 

But maybe that's the problem! Are these jobs only for such low-skilled people? 

I guess that's the point and it's been hammered into these people with the "expectation" that they conform to our American society and our low expectations of them. 

Here was a list of rules to abide by while going to school at City College (Chinatown/Northbeach campus). 

 
'Cause you know, foreigners are rude, ignorant and dirty folks who don't care about cleanliness and need to be taught American mannerisms.

In reality, I've seen plenty of White people who don't abide by these rules.

It's true, some of these people come from horrid conditions, like those I've seen online:

Hong Kong's 'caged dogs': Poverty-stricken people forced to live like animals in one of the world's wealthiest and most densely populated cities

• More than 50,000 people are thought to live in 6ft by 3ft iron and timber shanties, many of which are run illegally
• British-born photographer Brian Cassey visited a hot, dank community of cage-dwellers perched on a rooftop
• Inhabitants pay HK$1,500 (£117) a year - compared to HK$16,000 (£1,240) a month for a small one-bed apartment

By Dan Bloom

Published: 06:22 EST, 13 February 2014 | Updated: 06:40 EST, 13 February 2014 Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2558403/Hong-Kongs-caged-dogs-Poverty-stricken-people-forced-live-like-animals-one-worlds-wealthiest-densely-populated-cities.html#ixzz3g0o9RV00

But for the majority of people living in the United States of America and San Francisco now, we're all just trying to survive and being treated as if we're filthy, unskilled, undesirables does nothing for our state of mind, well being or desire to work. 

Blaming us for the dire conditions in employment does not help us get jobs--it makes it so much worse! We are not the problem! 

So wake up, Obama and American economists... our economy is in dire straights but it's not our fault. Blame Capitalism, blame the Fortune 500 companies stealing our money, blame the 1% who put us in dire financial straights in 2008, blame the damn employers who cut wages and jobs, blame the corporations who take their tax breaks as "Individual Entities"...

Whatever you do, don't point your finger at us, we're hard-working Americans trying to survive. If this country can't face that fact, maybe it's time to re-do the constitution and make a new country. 

It will take a revolution... and it will NOT be peaceful. By the time our government, Pentagon and "Powers that Be" wake up, it will be too late. 

Welcome to the New Land of Opportunity! 
(If you survive it...)

Why Do I Write?

As a writer, this is a very important question for me. 

I have to keep asking myself this when I don’t feel like writing. Worst thing is, I have to keep answering this when everyone else keeps asking me, “Why do you write when you don’t get any money?” “What’s the point of writing if you don’t do anything with it?” 

I’m still coming up with excuses but I already know why I write. For many reasons…

• I write to express myself.

On days like these when I don’t feel like doing anything else, when I feel like life is pointless, I write to express these feelings that if voiced aloud would get me locked up in the nuthouse.

• I write to get out of the apartment

Writing in front of a computer is boring, not to mention all the distractions of: Facebook, YouTube, Webtoon (my new addiction to online Korean comics), etc.

Social interaction is nice, even if it’s just an exchange of, “I’ll have a double espresso and a gluten-free muffin, please.” “$6.50.” “Thank you.” Now finding a good café to write in is another challenge…

• I write to capture the moment

Somehow pictures don’t do it for me. I always forget the date of when I took it, where I took it and why. Writing memories down ensures I can get “the bigger picture” of events. 

• I write for personal reflection (yes, this is different from expression)

I observe people through the lens of my perception, which can be very dark and depressing. Other times, I try to understand why people live their lives the way they do. How do they get though their day (especially without drugs, alcohol or pot)? What makes them different from me? What makes me different from them? Also, because I’m curious and writing about others helps me understand them more.

• I write to imagine…

What if? The greatest question ever! I like to imagine different scenarios about me, life and other people. “What if that guy was a secret agent?” “What if I only had one day to live?” “What if I could live forever?” Though that last question is the most depressing. 

Making up stories and daydreaming is the best part of my day. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to live life without any imagination.

• I write to learn

When I’m doing big research papers for school (40 pages in length at times), I learn a lot from what I’ve researched and then written about. My research in poverty gave me a bigger perspective and cemented my claim that poverty is unacceptable in this country. I miss doing research. I hardly do it anymore except when I’m taking certain classes at school. I guess I should pursue school more.

• I write to keep “active”

This is a relative term defined by: how often I post, how many readers I have, where I post/publish and if it matters or not (which it doesn’t). However, in the grand meaningless scheme of “employment” and job questions like, “What have you been doing all this time?” I find it useful to pretend I’m doing something with my life by writing about it. 

• Because I’m just no good at anything else…

Obviously, if this were my answer to the job question, I’d never have a job in my life again (which is what I’m looking at now anyways). Yes, I’m a lazy, depressed, good-for-nothing who is unprepared to deal with the real world -- but at least I can write about it! Writing gives me a small, insignificant voice. It gives me a sense of purpose I can’t find anywhere else. 

When I read an inspiring story or work of journalism that’s published, I think, “Wow! I’m glad they wrote this and I could read it!” No, I didn’t give them any money directly (or at all). Yes, I know it doesn’t make any money to write small, inspiring works that no one else cares about, but it gives me something to live for.

That is the most accurate answer I can think of as to “why I write”. Writing gives me something to live for. When I write, it’s proof that I exist. My words flow onto the paper in sloppy, black, ink and I can re-read my words later to figure out: where I was when I wrote it, when I was writing it, what I was writing about and how I was feeling then.

Writing is more truthful than speaking, which isn’t always honest due to censorship, feelings about the listener and general thoughtlessness. 

Anyone can “speak their mind” and their words are easily forgotten, but any great speech requires thoughtful examination, drafts of words on paper and re-writes. Writing requires more effort and the reward is that it’s more permanent. 

• I write for permanence

I hesitate to put my words on a blog, text message or email or anyplace where it becomes erased (like some newspapers I’ve written articles for). In time everything you say or write becomes obsolete due to the transitory nature of our lives, the medium we use to express ourselves and the fading interest that is the result of the “human condition”. 

Books are more permanent than blogs, can be copyrighted in a Congress Library and can be bought and sold on a market. But even books are subject to environmental conditions (water, fire, fading, etc.), bad market decline, lack of interest and finally, books are forgotten. 

Writing is a luxury but it’s also a necessity. Time and time again I thought about what I’d be doing if I wasn’t writing and then thought what my life would be like if I couldn’t write…

Get up in the morning, go to work (or school), go home, do chores (or homework and chores), fix dinner, sleep. Do it all over again.

Not very interesting, is it? The problem is, writing requires time: time to notice, time to digest, time to reflect, time to write about the whole process. Who has time to write when you’re working to pay the bills or going to school in order to work to pay the (additional) bills that going to school required? 

• I write for self-worth

Is what I write about really worth anything? Is it worth publishing? Is it worth working for? Is it worth going to school for? Those questions are harder to answer than the simple “why do I write?” question. 

Having self-worth is probably the most important and valuable thing for writing (and for anything else in your life). How to handle rejection without despair, how to have the energy to try again (even when you’re exhausted all the time). Having the know-how to do what you want (software to publish your own books, etc.). 

If I had self-worth it would be easier to write more and better. I’d be more successful. I’d be so successful that I’d make a lot of money, live in a nice place, meet great and important people, have a good life and make it on my own.

. . . 

What would I write about then?