How NOT to Write a Dating Profile

With Valentine's Day coming up I thought it would be prudent to put some advice up about what NOT to do on your profile for those dating sites such as: OKCupid, Match.com, eHarmony and even Craig's List.

(For the sake of writing and explaining I will use terms like Men & Women but I mean to be inclusive of all genders, Transpeople, etc.)

Sorry for the gender bias pic here...

The biggest pet peeve I have and most of what I've seen is men posing with pictures of their children or worse yet, pictures of other people's children. Don't do this, it makes you look like a pedophile and the fact that you exploit children to get a date is wrong.

(I wouldn’t post an underage child pic, but yeah, you get the idea…)

Same advice here for women. Don't pose with your kids or someone else's otherwise you'll attract pedophiles.

With that being said, unless you’re on an adult sex site, don’t post pics of your privates either--it’s just gross (that goes for men and women and whoever else). 

Pictures of you and your bros chugging beer in a bar (or beach binge) is the reason why women don't go to bars to date, so do you really want to post that pic for everyone to see (including your boss)? Unless you want to date a barfly, don't post a bar crawl pic. 

I'm ambivalent about women posing with their friends in bars, mostly because I don't drink. It may show that you're having a good time but it also sends the message that you hang out a lot in bars, so be aware of that.

No weapons--ever! I've seen so many "military" pics of men with their guns and knives or hunting pics with big, scary weapons around them. All that says to me is, "Stay away from this guy, he'll kill you.” 

Same thing with women, it's not something you want to post for everyone to see, "Oh, gee, that explains her road-rage--she's got an aggressive streak in her.”

Pets are okay, just make sure they're yours (and make sure your landlord doesn't see this pic). If they're outdated pictures of a pet you used to have, it's really awkward to ask, "Is that your dog?" and have a reply like, "Oh no, it died some years ago…".

That brings me to the point of: no outdated pictures. Seriously, you may have looked great ten years ago in high school but now you need to face reality and those who are dating you don't want to meet someone totally different from the picture you posted. Be honest!

Is this from the 1970’s?

Oh yeah, no sunglasses pictures please. I want to see what you look like, not what brand of eyeshades you wear. It also creates a wall for the person looking at your picture and they will most likely skip it (like I've done for the tenth time).

No to Bathroom pics. I don't want to see your bathroom, your dirty clothes and the lousy pic you took with a phone while you were half naked. I. really. don't. want. to. see. that. (Same thing for women, and yes, I've seen those bar bathroom pics online *shudders*).

No Girlfriend/Boyfriend pics--seriously! Unless you're into Polyamory (look it up), don't post pics of your significant other, or worse yet, 'black-out' pics of you and your significant other. It's just really stupid and shows others looking at your profile that the blacked-out image could be them next time.

Also, I hate to have to put this here but no pics of someone else that isn't you. It seems kind of obvious but a lot of people try to pass themselves off as Brad Pitt or this guy... (saw this on Craig's List).

For profile pictures--if in doubt, ask a friend to take your picture or pretend you're a tourist in town and ask a stranger. Odds are you'll get a better pic than if you took it yourself.

You are what you write...

For those of us who don't look like supermodels, there's still a chance to make yourself stand out. The secret is to write as much as you can in your profile that's honest, insightful and isn't total bull-crap.

Don’t write stuff like this:

"I am a white male in my late 30's. I am tall, dark and handsome."

"Hey, sitting home getting baked on my own. I would love some company. Come join me and we can watch a movie on TV or just chat and have a drink and then have some awesome stoner sex! Please be cute, under 40 and HWP [height/weight/proportional--not fat]. I'll send my pic in reply to yours! … I'm clean and have had a vasectomy."

"I like puppies" doesn't really say much except that you're barking up the wrong tree. Try, "I like animals but haven't been able to have them because of my allergies", it's honest and lets others know so they don't have to ask, "Do you have pets?".

Be honest about yourself but don't put yourself or others down. "I hate politics and politicians" doesn't sound intelligent, it just sounds like you don't participate in group activities. Say instead, "I'm not political, I don't watch TV, so I don't watch the news but I listen to NPR and the occasional lecture." See? Your IQ just went up 50 points.

Long term dating or one-night-stand?

Let's be honest here folks, it will save a lot of time and wasted effort for both parties if you just state that you're looking for a one-night-stand. Putting: One-night-stand/Long-term/Short-term/Friends on your page is misleading and also means you: 1) Can't make up your mind 2)Are too desperate to bother with 3)You're really confused and hoping one might lead to another which probably won’t happen.

Which brings us to screen names, swearing, bad grammar and such in your profile. Avoid this at all costs! If your profile name is: BigDick2014, GimmeSugar14, Handjob4You, etc. don't bother. 

Plse dnt txt n yur pfle. <--- get the picture? 

No swearing, it lowers your IQ and makes everybody ignore you. Use spell check and re-read your profile to avoid major pitfalls like: Your, You're, There, Their, They're, etc.

Avoid any derogatory comments or slang like: "I'm looking to get with a bitch and hang out", "We jus' hangin' wit' our n*ggers, yo!", "Looking for a my girl... my woman... " etc.

I just thought for those who bother putting themselves out there in the world for the general public to look at and possibly date, this would be good advice to follow. We'll see if anyone will actually follow it.

Sunset Stroll, anyone?

Personally I also wonder about those in-between times after Valentine's Day, what happens to these people who don't find dates? I've seen profiles online that have been on there for years--and yes, they're still looking. 

I may write a follow-up story as to why they're still single: Too picky? Not picky enough? Bad dates? Bad luck? They didn't read this advice on how to write their profiles?

I hope to solve this mystery.

Thanks for reading! Good Luck finding Love!

Stupid men shouldn't tell Women what to do...

You'd be amazed how many men come up to me, total strangers, and start bossing me around. First they tell me to, "Smile!", when all I want to do is kick them in the face and knock their rotten teeth out. Men I don't know, think they know more than I do and offer 'advice' that ends up being totally stupid. I just nod, because if I told them so, they wouldn't believe me--still offering their stupid 'advice'.

Some men I do know (unfortunately) also boss me around and try to tell me what to do. I knew one older guy who told me to read a book. It ended up being Siddhartha and here he was spouting a bunch of nonsense about how inspirational it all was, saying, "Once you read it, you'll realize what it's all about". I had to interrupt his long spiel (when I had a chance to get a word in) and say, "I read it in high school, but thanks anyway". Or worse yet, they say to me, "I don't know if this book is your thing, it might be too cerebral for you..." Um no, dumb-ass, I've already read Einstein and found it hilarious that he thinks the universe has no end (or was that Hawking?).

I read a lot and any man who thinks he knows more than I do, just because he's read a bunch of books by dumb-ass men, really doesn't know diddly-squat. The funny thing is, whenever I ask these men what books they've read by women--they become speechless! They don't freaking know! Or they'll say something stupid like: "Oh, you mean something like Fifty Shades of Grey?". This is the point where I just shake my head and start ignoring them.

The unfortunate truth is, these men think they are smart! They don't even know how idiotic they are. These men start talking philosophy, quoting old dead men but when they're asked about real life, all they can do is regurgitate the same quote, over and over.

And their view of women is even worse...

The same, supposedly intelligent men, think women should stay at home and have their babies. That's it! Women are not capable of enlightenment. "Oh you don't need to worry your pretty little head about that, just stay home and have the babies!" They say. Forget about women's rights or anyone else's rights for that matter--they don't believe stupid people should have the right to vote. I've often heard them say, "Well if they're not interested in politics, they shouldn't vote." Never mind how insane politics are in general and that your vote doesn't count (unless you're a lobbyist).

I've heard nasty stories from these elitists about how they think stupid people shouldn't breed (uh, according to you, aren't women the stupid people? Should we not breed?). How society should be controlled by the intelligent elite and that stupid people are cattle to be herded around blindly.

To me, it sounds a lot like what Hitler was saying about the Jews... Oh yeah! These supposedly intelligent people also put Hitler on a pedestal for some strange twisted reason I can't comprehend. They've all read Mein Kampf as if it were some bible to follow. Disgusting!

Basically, any man that would think they can tell a woman what to do, is obviously very stupid and foolish. Silly men, the world is for WOMEN!

Not that I expect to tell a man what to do, I don't do that sort of thing. I believe everyone should be equal and have their own mind. It's a give-and-take relationship but if you find they are 'giving' too much advice without even considering your side or 'taking' too much of you for granted--it's time to ditch the loser and move on!

Since I am more intelligent that these men, I try to say nothing most of the time. A few times I had to 'correct' someone who was out of line (a despicable man joking about how pretty women are the first to get pregnant, strip clubs, etc.). I know stupidity can't be cured or solved by such means.

Ignorance can be tolerated but not such blind stupidity--such blatant stubborn stupidity. These people are not capable of having an intelligent thought which requires analysis, introspection, empathy and careful consideration.

Truly intelligent people, I've found, are quiet and thoughtful--thinking first before they speak and weighing their words with proper caution so as not to be misunderstood or offensive to others.

Intelligent people in other words, are a lot like me.

My intelligent advice to stupid men is, "Don't open your mouth as much. Listen for once to what women have to say. You might learn something."

To Date or NOT to Date...

Maybe it's the lack of rain that's affecting my brain, making me think it's February already when it's not, but I'm starting to get that horrible feeling again…

The, "I need to find someone to keep me company but can't find anyone in real life, so I guess I'll go online, maybe to OkCupid and look around...".

I need help.

I've been reading horror stories about OkCupid, mostly reading stuff about male stalkers, men pretending to be women to see 'just how bad being a woman really is' and about women making fake profiles to prove 'just how bad being a woman really is'.

I don't know why I bother.

I've been on OkCupid before and met none I wanted to date. I've also been on AOL personals, Yahoo! personals, Match.com and all the other sites you had to pay for (as much as $25 a month!). It turns out, people who pay to have their profiles also put on profiles for the free sites too--go figure. So you're stuck with the same batch of losers.

That's not to say you can't find someone serious on there, but still...

It would be easier I think if I were a woman who's looking for a guy, "for a serious relationship", eventually ending in marriage and children (unless you already have children), etc. But that's not what I want. I just want to date--and believe me, it's way too hard to find a guy just for that.

Maybe it's the status quo: Men have to pay to take women out.

I always go dutch when I go out (unless I happen to have no cash on me and the waitress at the way-too-busy restaurant doesn't split the check). I HATE having a guy pay for me...having a guy PAY FOR ME, yes that's what I said because that's what it is, covert prostitution. Once a guy pays for me, I have to give something in return--either my time, my affection...or uh, sex (which I've never done--yet).

I think there's a lot of pressure for the guys who take women out and if they just want sex, then they're wasting their time--and their money.

It would also be easier if I just wanted sex, no strings attached, sex. But I know I'd feel like shit afterwards. Some women can have sex with a guy and go off the next day feeling fine--I can't do that. I need something more in my life...

I want connection, something in common with someone. I want to get to know them and spend time together, watch movies, cook for them, have them cook for me and all that romantic junk you see in the movies (without the corny soundtrack). I guess in the end... I want love.

OK, now I need to stop. Love isn't for me, it's never worked out. I fall for a guy, it lasts a few months at most then the cowardly guy leaves me (or leaves town and never comes back). I'm sick of it. I don't want love--co-dependency, neediness, putting up with crap and their slovenliness because, "I'm in Love!". Forget love. That's Disney crap.

I've given up on love because I don't believe in it anymore--like Santa or the Tooth Fairy, I've outgrown it.

Maybe instead of looking for a guy to fit my needs and going through all that mess, I should do what other lonely women do--get a pet. Maybe a dog or a cat. But then again, I'm not allowed to have pets at my current apartment (that crappy, unsafe place, where the neighbors drive me nuts with their ridiculous head-board-thumping-against-the-wall, unfeeling, unloving, primitive, rape-like sex).

I'm not sure how I'd feel about taking care of another living being (I have a hard enough time taking care of my own self). But then again, other people get pets and dogs, abuse them, leave them out tied in the backyard in freezing cold weather to die--before they dump them off a road somewhere. So I guess I don't have to worry about being a bad owner.

Trouble is, I do like to travel and I'd feel bad about leaving them for an extended time in a boarding shelter. The way my life is going right now, I'm not sure where I'm going to be in the next two-to-ten years.

I guess what got me thinking about all this was the fact that being a woman, alone in this world, really is hard...

Unless you're rich, have an awesome job with a lot of income (who are we kidding here?), and have some system of support--you're screwed. Women need men to take care of them, that's the ugly truth (unless you're a rich lesbian...who knows?). I was denied a place to live because I was a single, unmarried woman--even though I had a lot of money! I was not on Section 8, but because I wasn't engaged or married, or even had a boyfriend--I wasn't allowed to rent a house for $700 a month and now I pay $690 for a tiny one-bedroom apartment with crappy neighbors--in an unsafe neighborhood where drug-dealers and rapists live.

I'm 30-years-old now and feeling like I'm nearing the end of my life. Call it a mid-life-crisis, but I'm no where near where I want to be in life.

I figured having a significant other to share the burden with would help me some. But I guess that's too much to ask…

In order to fit into this world I'm going to have to lower my expectations--a lot. I'll have to give up my dreams and settle for less, like so many women do after they realize they can't cut it in a world that hates women. Some guy will have a one night stand with me or try to 'knock-me-up' and then leave me to figure out an abortion on my own or give me an STD.

These are the things I think about when I ask myself if I can stand living with a man, who will end up bossing me around--after telling me what books to read and what movies to watch, he'll end up telling me when I can go out and when I can't, he'll tell me to quit my job and have his kids--and then I won't have a life of my own.

So the question is: Do I give up my life to live with a guy, or do I suffer on my own--in a world that hates women, until the money runs out?

I guess I'd rather be single and miserable then be taken--and miserable.

So much for dating…

The Piano Teacher

"The Piano Teacher"

A disturbing film.

Like so many french films and stories that feature sexually inhibited women (Belle Du Jour, Romance, Anatomy of Hell, Story of O), they invariably end in tragedy. The woman must, by the status quo, kill herself and thus annihilate her desire. Because she is a woman and not a man, she is denying herself and society of being sexual and procreating, thus in the end she is punished. The woman is filled with such self-loathing she can't stand it anymore.

The Piano Teacher is no different in punishing women for their foolish hysteria, and because they didn't dare sleep with a man, they must now suffer eternal damnation.

I must say I am quite tired of watching these films that eerily represent my own life.

In this film, the woman, Erika, lives with her over-obsessive mother who is constantly calling her on the phone to ask where she is. Erika, who is probably over thirty-years-old, still sleeps with her mother (her father is in a mental institution), and has never married or even dated another man.

She gets her outlet by going to porn shops, watching films where women are sucking men's dicks and fishes out discarded condoms to sniff while she watches.

It turns out, Erika has some secret fetishes.

In the bathroom, she cuts her genitals with a razor. The movie doesn't imply if she is doing this for some sick pleasure or if she is secretly punishing herself. Either way, it's disturbing to watch.

Erika, still clueless about what she wants sexually, also gets her kicks by spying on teens having sex in a car while watching a movie. She pisses next to a car (the movie doesn't say if this sexually arouses her or not) and is seen then runs away.

The mother is also very disturbing. For some reason (again the movie doesn't say why), she makes her daughter sleep with her. The mother is very insecure, constantly calling her daughter and hounding her about what she's doing and where she's been. She throws out her daughter's "tawdry" clothes and chastises her for anything pretty she buys. Toward the end of the film, Erika tearfully exclaims, "I want you...", and proceeds to jump onto her mother in a sexual manner, to which her mother is horrified (as are the viewers, I'm sure!).

She meets an over-zealous student who (surprise, surprise) has developed quite a crush on her. The boy is a cocky brat who is over-confident and is absolutely positive that his piano teacher, Erika is absolutely mad over him. He tries to seduce her.

She plays a cat-and-mouse game with her student before he confronts her, in her house, with her mother ever-watching close-by.

She has him read a letter she has written for him. In it, she mentions a bunch of "sick" things she wants him to do to her. He is disgusted and runs away from her.

For some strange reason (the movie doesn't say why) she goes after him, claiming she loves him.

Is she really in love or is she just going insane? There are several hints in the movie that suggest this, Erika even mentions a piece of piano music to the boy student, saying that the composer wrote it just before he lost his mind. As usual, the boy is totally clueless to her hints and tries to impress her by playing the music.

He eventually follows her back to the house, claiming she has made him obsessed and proceeds to enact the details of the "sick" letter she wrote: locking her mother up, and brutally beating Erika. He fucks her then leaves her there.

The next day Erika goes to the recital with her mother.

At the recital, the stupid boy pretends he doesn't see the bruises he put on her and he runs up the stairs with his friends quipping, "Can't wait to see you play".

She gets out a knife she has hidden in her purse, stabs herself in the chest then briskly walks out of the recital hall.

End of movie.

Wasn't that cheerful?

I have a problem with this movie.

Not because of the content or the sexual violence (I don't like violence against women), but because it's so WRONG. Let me explain...

The woman character allows herself to be punished, both mentally, physically and then sexually. She is severely inhibited, still sleeps with her mother (for crying out loud!), can't communicate her feelings or even acknowledge what she wants emotionally or sexually. She wields a powerful commanding presence as a piano teacher, yet uses it vindictively against the students because she sees their talent as a threat, going so far as to put glass in her pupil's coat so they can't play at the recital after the pupil cuts her hand from the glass.

All the while, Erika herself is suffering from self-mutilation (cuts her genitals with a razor), and no one knows what she's doing. Her own mother mistakes the blood leaking from between her legs as menstrual blood and is disgusted with her. She lets herself be manipulated by a boy, allowing obsession to form without any control and trusts him enough to reveal her secret desires to him, sick as they are.

In fact, the real problem is, what she wants isn't that sick. There are plenty of people who get their kicks in abnormal ways, if only because they can't have a real relationship. What makes her predicament so abnormal is the way she is going about it. If all she wanted was some weird sex, she could just hire someone to fulfill her needs. However, she doesn't just want weird sex: being subjugated, beaten, humiliated, left alone. The real question is why she wants those things. She feels guilt, her mother heaps guilt upon guilt on her. The one time Erika goes out to get her kicks, she comes home to her mother who tells her, "You're father died this afternoon". Talk about a mood killer! There's really no one else she can turn to.

Along comes a stupid boy, claiming to love her but he too is of no use to her. He dumps her after he finally gets to fuck her. But instead of taking the knife she has hidden and sticking it into his chest, she takes the pain on herself and pushes the blade through her chest.

What is it with the French and filling women with such self-loathing? Is it politically motivated? If women hate themselves so much, they won't run for President? I don't think France has had a woman President (neither has America!) and it shows in their films. But even their term for sex, "The Little Death" is filled with dark intent. Little Death for who? Do women have to die every time they have sex? How horrible!

All in all, it's a depressing two-hour film. I only got the film because I thought there would be kink in it but I was sorely disappointed.

"Luddite Uses Kindle for First Time"

Sorry, I had to repost because Google/Blogger is messing up ALL my articles…

It's a KINDLE!

I've never used a Kindle before, so when the Chico Library had an ad to loan one for seven days for only a dollar, I just had to try it.

I've seen people use them before on BART when I was in the bay area, swiping their greasy fingers along the screen where I could see words scroll across the page in all of its dull digital glory.

What was the point? I thought to myself, staring over their shoulder to read whatever they were reading.

Whenever I wanted to read a book, I brought the whole copy with me, stuffed into my large purse that stuffed my: camera, wallet, daily planner, umbrella, make-up case, CD player and lots of pens and paper at the bottom. My purse was starting to get overstretched. Maybe it was time I considered a Kindle...

I could see the convenience of it. Small, portable with a padded case that came with a charger. A Kindle might be just what I needed if I were to be stuck on a two-hour ride on BART with nothing to do but stare out the window. Normally I would just sit and stare out the window and maybe write something along the way to San Francisco.

Kindles could offer new possibilities--I could read multiple books with one device, without having to return a book or pay those nasty late fees. Some Kindles come with an option to play an Mp3 as you're reading a book, but really, who would do a thing like that? I find that distracting.

But lets get back to the beginning...

Lots of people are using Kindles now (courtesy of Amazon) and their network of electronic books. Why did it take me so long to get one?

First of all, I don't have the money to buy said nifty device. I'd rather get my books from the library instead of paying a couple hundred for yet another device I have to charge to my electricity bill. Secondly, I didn't see the point. I'm not a regular commuter and the times I go to the bay area and ride BART are a few times a year. Thirdly, at twenty-nine-years-old, I'm a self-proclaimed Luddite who mistrusts technology and wonders who's making the big bucks off all this e-book nonsense.

No, it wasn't just because Stephen King had released an e-book online. I didn't even try a Kindle then. It's because I'm dirt cheap and the library offered this opportunity to loan a Kindle courtesy of "a grant from LSTA"--Thanks to Chico Friends of the Library!

Of course, since it's offered by the local library it does have a lost/damaged fee of $159.00, which I'm guessing is the total cost of the Kindle. Overdue fines are $1.00 per day, with no renewals and of course, you can't drop it into the book drop.

Said expensive (black and white display) Kindle comes in a nifty blue case with Micro USB cable that plugs into the device and you can charge by plugging into a wall socket or USB port on a computer. This thing does come with instructions too, on a small laminated card that's easy to understand, so even Grandma or Grandpa might take a shot at it.

Once you get the hang of how to use it, it's pretty easy. Older people won't get the intuitiveness of 'zooming' your fingers on the screen to make the font bigger or smaller, but if you give them enough tries it's obvious. The buttons have no labels, so you'll probably have to label them or write a diagram. Also be careful of pressing too hard or not hard enough. The screen sensor isn't that great and older models are a bit clunky.

After trying the Kindle and fiddling around with it, I soon found something to read. "The Dinner" by Herman Koch (translated from Dutch) is a great first-time Kindle story. Other books offered by this device were, "The Fifth Assassin" by Brad Meltzer, "Gone Girl: A Novel" by Gillian Flynn, "The Good House: A Novel" by Ann Leary, "The Storyteller" by Jodi Picoult, "Suspect" by Robert Crais, "Touch & Go" by Lisa Gardner and "Wild: From Lost To Found On The Pacific Crest Trail" (Oprah's Book Club 2.0 Digital Edition) by Cheryl Strayed.

It also included a Kindle User's Guide, two Oxford dictionary's and My Clippings (I don't know what that's for).

"The Dinner" by Herman Koch is not something I would have ordinarily chosen. I tried a brief read of "Gone Girl" but didn't like the style. It's also hard to get a feel for the book when you're not given a book description (available on Wi-Fi use only) and you have to search to find the cover. You also have to register the Kindle before you can see certain features--for some reason the library hasn't registered any of their Kindles and I'm constantly being reminded by a screen saver to "Register Your Kindle to See Special Features".

When I started reading "The Dinner", it started out innocently enough. A man is waiting for a reservation in an expensive restaurant with his wife. However, the story takes some interesting turns and a lot of dark material turns up within the course of the long, expensive pretentious meal. I can't wait to see what happens by dessert-time.

These books listed are probably on some best-seller list somewhere. Herman Koch, who's won the Publieksprijs Prize in 2009, has written seven novels, three collections of short stories and lives in Amsterdam.

I'm intending to finish the over forty-chaptered book and hopefully write a review of the digital book soon. I'm pretty sure "The Dinner" is a, Book of the Year Must-Read List. So my review of it will be redundant but that's what blogs are for.

There are several things I don't like about the Kindle so far though...

I'm still getting used to the idea that I have to 'swipe' my finger along the screen to turn the page, watching the ever-so-brief flashing of words 'change' to the next page. It's a bit distracting and it doesn't always work. Sometimes I have to re-swipe my finger across the screen or sometimes I turn several pages at a time when I do this. It's a bit annoying and I'm guessing they have some models that can detect the pressure of a finger swipe in order not to have ten pages go flashing by before your eyes.

Also, there's that battery thing that needs charging. The volunteer at the library desk assured me that the battery should last a week on a full charge--if all I'm doing is reading the book--and not accessing the Wi-Fi on it for buying books on the store, reading publications online (with a paid subscription) or other battery draining activities.

Having a battery sign at the corner of your page reminds you that time is limited and that you should read faster before you lose your place.

I've lost my place several times while reading the book. When I turn the device off, it does save my place, however if I'm browsing around other books and reading other stuff, it won't remember where I was before. I'm still trying to figure out the Bookmark thing. I can make a Bookmark, I just can't access it. So I have to remember the chapter I'm reading and use the Go To button to go back.

For the fifth or sixth time now, I'm still getting reminders to register my Kindle, even though it's not mine. I don't want to try registering it in case I can't reset it and the Library makes me pay a big huge fine for rendering their donated device useless. So I guess those Special Features are reserved only for those rich people who can afford to pay to get their own Kindles.

I tried to use the Text-to-Speech feature and it sounded like an off-tune robot reading words to me. I don't recommend using it. Nor would I use the Mp3 feature to listen to music as I read--which are two conflicting activities to me and should not be performed together (like riding a bike with headphones and getting hit by a car because you couldn't hear it coming).

Having a Kindle registered to Amazon may also limit your choices of getting content from other sources which may not share a license with said company (who doesn't like to pay taxes in California).

When I used the Wi-Fi feature though I did see a lot of content to read, including stuff from authors that they wouldn't otherwise publish on the mainstream market. "Rules for Virgins" by Amy Tan is a 43-page book that's available to read once you pay for it. Stephen King also wrote about the topic of guns in his electronic publication of, "Guns" a Kindle Single. At only 25 pages, it might be his shortest work yet (or not). According to Amazon.com, "King's earnings from the sale of this essay will go the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence."

If you're a Kindle fan, you'll probably pay for all the content you get with a subscription fee, membership or other pay-for-it charge.

As for me, I've yet to be won over by Kindle. It's a great thing for the library to offer people and the fact that they're keeping up with technology is a great idea (something I should try). I may borrow the Kindle again if I want to try a new book that they don't have in hardcopy. It's a great place to start anyway. I just don't think I want one of my own to buy and pay for all the necessary subscriptions.

As a writer I think it's important to know what's out there and how to market yourself. So I was also curious to see how these books were published and in what format. It's hard to read a big huge novel with a small less-than 8X5 screen, so I'm guessing it's a good idea to keep your stories short for Kindle publishing. There are other e-book readers out there but the library hasn't tried those yet, so I'm not sure how those are displayed.

They also have Kindle Blogs and for a .99 fee you can read some or subscribe. You can also read newspapers on Kindle. With all the bad press about books, newspapers and printing in general going down the drain, it's good to know there are other outlets for the printed media.

I don't know if you have to pay a tax for these reading fees and subscriptions but that's another thing to think about. Does reading on a digital device count as a sale? It's a good thing I'm not an accountant but I think they would start to charge the use of the Wi-Fi to somebody, not to mention you still have to pay for electricity to charge your electronic device.

Reading electronically may be the future but I still love books...

I love the smell of the pages (and it's cheap binding glue). I love having the book and being able to flip to any page I want when I need to refer to something (without having to boot up a device, charge a battery or lose my place). I love having a book on my bookshelf, for which I have numerous rooms devoted to. I love having my own library filled with books that I sometimes donate to the library or the Reading Partners program, that helps kids learn to read (and hopefully love books as much as I do).

A Kindle can be handy sometimes but it will never replace my love for books. So when I'm done sampling, "The Dinner", I'll probably go to my local bookshop and buy my own copy, in hardback or paperback, put it on my bookshelf or loan it to a friend.

"Hey, you gotta try this book," I'll say, "It's something I discovered on a Kindle and I liked it so much I had to get my own copy".

"Thanks," They'll say, "But I have a Kindle with a subscription and I can get it for free right here."

They'll pull out their Kindle/Phone/electronic-device-thingy-that-just-came-out and find that it's run out of battery. I'll give them the book to try (pasting my name and address label inside of it), so they can read it and give it back to me in due time.

Later they will thank me for giving them the book, since they dropped their Kindle/Phone/electronic-device-thingy-that-just-came-out, and couldn't read the damaged screen. There may be some food stains on the pages but at least I'll know they have read the book and enjoyed it as much as I have. At home I will put the book back on the bookshelf to read later or lend to someone else.

"There's nothing like a good book." My Grandma always says.

NiteFlirt Animation

NiteFlirt - an online phone-sex/web-cam company, shows a funny animated video about why you should use and pay for their services.

The animation starts off with several men in line waiting for the bus, they are of various ages, sizes and character types. A sexy, blonde, well-endowed woman bikes by in short shorts. Cue their various fantasies with the voice-over of a woman, "Everyone has erotic urges...". Pictures in thought-bubble shapes emerge with each of the men dressed up in their favorite erotic costume.

The woman voice goes on to say that the internet has "plenty of outlets" for such urges. However, it soon becomes clear that internet porn is only "one-dimensional" and "dull". The reason, after a hilarious Leonardo Da Vinci Vitruvian Man comparison, is that the dull internet experience, "Doesn't reach the most important organ of all--your brain!".

Next is an animation of a lonely man trying to latch himself up in handcuffs while looking at a porno mag. No, you really can't ask the porno mag to tie you up, what a shame!

But here's the kicker, as the female voice sagely advises, "In the real world, exploring your urges can be dangerous..." How? Here we see a doctor looking at a guy's junk and shaking his head, while the guy bursts out in tears. Oh dear, I wonder what happened to that guy?

Exploring urges is also, "expensive and frustrating" as we see a silhouette of a man presenting flowers to a woman who slams the door in his face. Gee, don't all women like flowers? Exploring your urges in the real world can also be, "inappropriate", as shown in the animation of a woman angrily presenting her husband with someone else's lipstick stain on his handkerchief or boxers (I couldn't tell which).

As the woman tells the men watching this animation, if they've stuck around long enough, it's "not always easy to explore hidden fantasies"--cue animation of man arriving in woman's boudoir in bunny costume, woman then turns back on him in fear.

And here it is at last, ladies (but mostly gentlemen), "That's where NiteFlirt comes in!". They are the number one provider, etc. etc. of real people, whom you can talk to, who won't be afraid to explore your nasty, abnormal desires with you. All anonymous and secure! So you don't have to worry about having a scary real-world relationship. Just spend your time (and lots of money) on strange women you've never seen in real life. "Guaranteed to Blow Your Mind!" The animation shows a brain exploding thus forth.

I understand the need to advertise and promote phone-sex with this great animation but come on, folks, let's get serious. Do you think they're being completely honest about what goes on in the real world? Is it really that difficult to find a kindred kinky spirit? Unless you're stuck in the boonies of Nebraska, you can find some people who are willing to interact with you via the internet, dating/hook-up sites, etc.

Unfortunately, the only people this ad caters to, are the shut-ins who don't desire any real contact at all. That's fine, I get the point of total anonymous contact (especially if one is married). But I do find the narrow-minded examples and unrealistic expectations, hard to swallow (if you'll excuse the pun). 

First of all, this site only caters to men. It's clear from the start, it's for MEN ONLY! Women are just there to provide the pleasure... according to the hilarious but unrealistic animation, women are afraid of sex and will do anything to avoid it. However, I wouldn't mind my guy in bunny costume!

The funny point is, most sex (even the kinky kind) can be had with good communication. 

Funnier point here is that these shut-ins are expected to 'communicate' their desires with strange women over the phone when they can't even present themselves to real women in real life. 

How the heck are these guys going to get off? "Oh gee, I don't know what I like... you tell me. I just called to, you know, get off." 

Such stimulating conversation indeed...

And such a waste of money! If men realize that size doesn't matter, to just be yourselves and have confidence and communicate, men wouldn't need to go through the endless trouble of porno/phone-sex sites. You could meet someone who likes the same kinky, crazy stuff you do and be comfortable with it.

But then again, if this happened NiteFlirt wouldn't be in business...

Oh well.

Over A Thousand Views?

It's been a while since I posted and when I logged in I was astounded to see I had over a thousand page views, 1,113 to be precise.

Why all the views for my little blog? Then I looked at the Audience stats. Again I was shocked to see I had readers from China, France, Poland and even Afghanistan. Afghanistan! Now I'm really curious...

I'm always interested in how people have heard of me. Most referrals I do is by word of mouth and email. My friends know my blog and if I'm lucky, they'll post a comment. Sometimes I post on Facebook but that's about it. I don't mess around with Twitter, Pintrest, or what have you.

Browsers are another interest of mine. Most people use Internet Explorer (Microsoft) or Safari (Mac) and Firefox (open software). Then I saw something called, Opera (no clue...), and YaBrowser. Must be a mobile thing. 

More and more people are accessing my blogs from their mobile device. There's even a browser called Dolphin, which I heard works better than Chrome (Google). 

It's hard for me to keep up with technology. I recently got a Smartphone from Walmart (Bad Walmart!) when I realized I needed to keep in touch with the world. It's helped a lot and I may do a review of it later.

But back to my blog...
Yeah, I have a lot of readers. 
Traffic sources are from sites such as: http://www.jalandharinfo.com (Jalandhar, city in India), Vampirestat.com, www.filmhill.com and other questionable sites that I should not put here. 

Then I figured out why I got so many readers. 
It must be the porn.

My "Playtime For You" review about a local porn shop seemed to be the most popular and is probably the source of all the attention. Most likely people are reposting my blog on other sites.

As I am grateful for the extra audience, I don't want to be known for publishing porn. So I guess I'll have to publish other stuff soon so this doesn't end up on LinkedIN---oh, too late.

I wonder if I should do Google Ad Sense? Yay, I just made a penny for each viewer, that gives me: $1.00!! ?????

Well, no one ever said I'd get rich from blogging.

No Place For You

I never realize how hard it is to find a place to live in until I have to move.

I've been looking for a place since May and haven't found anything. Surprisingly, in this tiny college town, all the apartments are taken by students who lease them for the year. I am not a student, I'm not interested in leases (since I'm trying to get out of a horrible one right now), and I don't want to drink/smoke/do drugs, etc.

You'd think for me it would be easy to find a place. It's not.

I don't have a lot of income but I have a lot of savings and a joint checking account with my family that I pay the bills with. Apparently, the online copied forms don't allow for this provision and I have to scribble it down as best I can that I am not poor and I have money.

I haven't bothered to pack my numerous belongings since most of it isn't mine. I'm downgrading from a three bedroom, two bathroom house at $1650.00 a month, hopefully to a cheaper but still nice place. No such luck...

All the places on Craig's List I've found are scams. Numerous crappy apartments aimed at college students with more than ten ads placed for one apartment. Even the property management companies run scams (all with terrible leases) and I can't rely on them either. I've asked around but my friends either have five roommates or they're married with income.

Most of the other places I've found online involve schemes like "re-modeled" garages, shacks and outhouses for student housing (most of which hasn't been approved with a permit). "Studios" that turn out to be someone's room in a house that isn't theirs. "Cottages" in old garages or garden houses that were never meant to be lived in. I've seen ads for men with children, wanting free housekeeping and babysitting in exchange for a "rent discount". It pretty much means a nanny/maid who pays the boss instead of the other way around. Women do this too and often shack up with dubious renters who promise to babysit their children; it's not something I recommend.

International students get scammed with "International Host Families", who make them pay rent, babysit the kids, clean the house and other chores that are not approved. Next comes another baby and the student is thrown out to make room (I've seen this happen to my friend!).

Living in a college town has its definite drawbacks but I never realized how bad until now.

I don't want five roommates, I'm not married, I don't have children (I don't even have pets!), and I'm not looking to make money off of college students. All I ask is to find a place I'm comfortable with but I guess that's too much to ask.

There's also the problem of gender. I noticed since I'm a single woman (no boyfriend, husband, etc.), people don't trust me to pay the rent. "Are you alone?" They always ask me. "Yes" I answer, wondering why it matters at all. Then my application gets denied and thrown away. Living in a rural college town is not the best situation for a women like myself who has no urge to shack up with a man in order to pay the bills. I don't want to end up his servant and have to do the cleaning, cooking, managing bills, all by myself. Worse yet, men often confuse female roommates as their girlfriends, next thing you know they're offering marriage proposals. Or they try to control everything you do.

I've often wondered how my chances in life would improve if I could get a sex-change. I know of no single woman who can make a living on her own and pay the rent at the same time. With minimum wage part-time jobs ruling the market right now, there's no hope for me to make a living for myself.

I guess I'll have to move in with my family, something I really don't want to do, unless I find another family to shack up with. Then I'll end up doing the chores, housekeeping, managing the household, babysitting the children and be stuck with everybody else's responsibilities.

I'm seriously thinking of getting that sex-change now...

Ghosts of Thailand

They build spirit houses to house the spirits who have been misplaced. Temples sit in farm fields, bathed in gold with their exotic steeples. Here in Thailand, people believe in ghosts, bad spirits, who haunt their lives.

Never before in my adult life, had I ever felt this close to the supernatural. I had never seen a ghost before (though I thought I had heard the footsteps of one once) but here in Thailand, anything is possible. The Thai people are very superstitious and they believe in curses, evil spells and restless grudges. Buddhism is only part of what they believe, the real religion lies in their beliefs, old beliefs that never die, like their ghosts.

A bad event, flood, or catastrophe is still blamed on ghosts (PHI ผี), witches, evil spells and unsatisfied ancestors who look down upon the people in their daily lives.

This was such a change for me. Here I was, a Christian (though a non-practicing one), thrown into another world, a world where my previous realities did not exist. Maybe it was my over-active imagination, or the fact that I had just seen one of the numerous ghost movies the Thai people watch.

But here in Thailand, you may see a ghost. You're more likely to see a ghost here than in Japan or America, simple because Thai people live with ghosts always in their daily lives. People here have seen ghosts and they fear them more than the poisonous snakes that can kill a person with one bite.

More than the ghosts they fear, I believe Thai people are most afraid of becoming ghosts themselves. A restless spirit beyond salvation or chance of enlightenment through re-incarnation, a ghost is trapped on this earth forever, and lost.

It was here in Thailand that I felt I would see a ghost.

I was biking alone, through the winding dirt roads, past coffee shops, internet cafes and roadside eateries, to the deserted countryside on the outskirts of town. Here in this small town, nobody spoke English, I had to speak awkward Thai phrases to them. If something were to happen to me, I would have no way of contacting anyone. Cell phone service didn't always work out here either. I hoped I wouldn't come across any of those poisonous snakes. I had already heard of someone who was bitten and had been in a coma from it. Luckily, I had only seen one snake in the fall season that I was here.

It started to rain lightly. In Thailand, it rains often, though not as much as in the spring monsoon season. The rain is warm and doesn't last long.

One time I was caught in a heavy downpour and I had to stop at a roadside eatery where I bought a raw young coconut that a man cut with a bloody hatchet he was using for the meat. Cleanliness isn't a big concern in Thailand and I had gotten a terrible stomach illness twice.

All of a sudden, it got dark while I was riding my bike. "Uh oh", I thought, "it's going to thunder soon." No one else was around. The streets were deserted. I realized I was totally alone. Not even a pack of stray dogs were barking, which I knew was very strange. There were always dogs around (Thai people don't believe in spaying or neutering either). It was eerily quiet, not even the sound of birds chirping.

If I was going to see a ghost, now would be the time. What would the ghost look like? Would it be pale gray with blackened eyes, the kind they show in the movies? Or would the ghost look like a normal person, except for the fact they would disappear as soon as I turned around? Would it be possible for me a Falung (foreigner) to see a Thai ghost? Could belief be that strong?

I wondered then how much the Thai culture had influenced me. Here I was, biking along the streets, expecting to see a ghost any moment. I was thrown into a society where anything was possible. Seeing a ghost was not an abnormal event but an everyday occurrence. Especially up in the countryside where I was, near the Burmese border (Myanmar to some). For the Thai people, ghosts are real. Whose to say ghosts aren't real? Which reality is the truth? I didn't know.

It started pouring.

I pulled over to stop at a roadside shop. Nobody paid much attention to me, they just watched their TV and drank their beers. When the rain stopped, I biked back to where I was staying, still feeling that at any moment I would see a ghost. The hairs on the back of my neck prickled, though it could've been the weather change. I had a strange feeling I was being watched, though when I looked around, no one was near.

Finally I biked down the hill, to where more people lived and sure enough, other people were in the street, driving cars and motorcycles (always without a helmet) and the feeling of being watched (and creeped out) had faded away. I must've imagined the whole thing.

I never told anyone what I had felt when I went out that day on my bike. I didn't think anyone else would've understood. If I told a Thai person, they'd probably just smile and nod. An American person wouldn't really understand, not unless they've lived in Thailand and felt what I felt then.

It's hard to say now if I believe in ghosts. I still haven't seen one, and my once brief encounter with the paranormal (those strange footsteps I once heard) could never be proven. The truth is, I'd hate to think a trapped soul actually exists and whatever grudge they carry is not something I want to be involved in.

Perhaps I should buy a charm, to keep the bad spirits away, just in case...