NiteFlirt
- an online phone-sex/web-cam company, shows a funny animated video
about why you should use and pay for their services.
The animation starts off with several
men in line waiting for the bus, they are of various ages, sizes and
character types. A sexy, blonde, well-endowed woman bikes by in short
shorts. Cue their various fantasies with the voice-over of a woman,
"Everyone has erotic urges...". Pictures
in thought-bubble shapes emerge with each of the men dressed up in
their favorite erotic costume.
The woman voice
goes on to say that the internet has "plenty of outlets"
for such urges. However, it soon becomes clear that internet porn is
only "one-dimensional" and "dull". The reason,
after a hilarious Leonardo Da Vinci Vitruvian Man comparison, is that the dull
internet experience, "Doesn't reach the most important organ of
all--your brain!".
Next is an
animation of a lonely man trying to latch himself up in handcuffs
while looking at a porno mag. No, you really can't ask the porno mag
to tie you up, what a shame!
But
here's the kicker, as the female voice sagely advises, "In the
real world, exploring your urges can be dangerous..." How? Here
we see a doctor looking at a guy's junk and shaking his head, while
the guy bursts out in tears. Oh dear, I wonder what happened to that
guy?
Exploring urges is
also, "expensive and frustrating" as we see a silhouette of
a man presenting flowers to a woman who slams the door in his face.
Gee, don't all women like flowers? Exploring your urges in the real
world can also be, "inappropriate", as shown in the
animation of a woman angrily presenting her husband with someone
else's lipstick stain on his handkerchief or boxers (I couldn't tell
which).
As the woman tells
the men watching this animation, if they've stuck around long enough,
it's "not always easy to explore hidden fantasies"--cue
animation of man arriving in woman's boudoir in bunny costume, woman
then turns back on him in fear.
And here it is at
last, ladies (but mostly gentlemen), "That's where NiteFlirt
comes in!". They are the number one provider, etc. etc. of real
people, whom you can talk to, who won't be afraid to explore your
nasty, abnormal desires with you. All anonymous and secure! So you
don't have to worry about having a scary real-world relationship.
Just spend your time (and lots of money) on strange women you've
never seen in real life. "Guaranteed to Blow Your Mind!"
The animation shows a brain exploding thus forth.
I
understand the need to advertise and promote phone-sex with this
great animation but come on, folks, let's get serious. Do you think
they're being completely honest about what goes on in the real world?
Is it really that difficult to find a kindred kinky spirit? Unless
you're stuck in the boonies of Nebraska, you can find
some people who are willing to interact with you via the internet,
dating/hook-up sites, etc.
Unfortunately,
the only people this ad caters to, are the shut-ins who don't desire
any real contact at all. That's fine, I get the point of total
anonymous contact (especially if one is married). But I do find the
narrow-minded examples and unrealistic expectations, hard to swallow
(if you'll excuse the pun).
First of all, this site only caters to
men. It's clear from the start, it's for MEN ONLY! Women are just
there to provide the pleasure... according to the hilarious but
unrealistic animation, women are afraid of sex and will do anything
to avoid it. However, I wouldn't
mind my guy in bunny costume!
The
funny point is, most sex (even the kinky kind) can be had with good
communication.
Funnier point here is that these shut-ins are expected
to 'communicate' their desires with strange women over the phone when
they can't even present themselves to real women in real life.
How
the heck are these guys going to get off? "Oh gee, I
don't know what I like... you tell me. I just called to, you know,
get off."
Such stimulating
conversation indeed...
And
such a waste of money! If men realize that size doesn't matter, to
just be yourselves and have confidence and communicate,
men wouldn't need to go through the endless trouble of
porno/phone-sex sites. You could meet someone who likes the same
kinky, crazy stuff you do and be comfortable with it.
But then again, if
this happened NiteFlirt wouldn't be in business...
Oh well.
